I Am Happy

Hey there, everybody. I hope your weekend and past week treated you well. Mine has been great. The week went by surprisingly fast. Work went well and overall it has been a productive week. This post is going to be different than previous ones. I want to talk more about how I’m feeling overall with my life. I want to talk about how happy I am at this current chapter of my life. Almost a couple of years ago, I was picked up by my parents from the San Diego airport and felt like a fairly broken man. I was officially separated from the US Navy and felt like an absolute failure. I vividly remember recounting some of my experience while in basic training to my parents and I asked myself a few rhetorical questions that were along the lines of, “Why is it so hard for me to find a career? Everything I try to pursue ends up fizzling out. Why is it so difficult for me to find a career that I am at the very least competent in? Is it that hard of an ask?” 

My intention for this series of questions wasn’t to play the victim. My intention was genuine, even innocent. I desperately desired to find a career path that would ultimately help me to provide for a future family if that happens one day. Ever since I graduated college and struggled to find work, I was getting extremely frustrated with the whole job search process. I saw many of my peers who were advancing in their respective careers genuinely wondering why all of my career ambitions up to that point were constantly getting shot down or would fade into oblivion. 

I’ll be completely honest with you, I was jealous of these people. They seemed to be doing well and advancing in their jobs. They seemed to have a loving spouse with happy kids and a nice house. And I was jealous because that is what I wanted what they had. I know it’s not fair to do this, but I categorized in my brain these people as having their shit together. I know that everybody has their personal struggles or heartbreaks behind closed doors. At the end of the day, we have our own unique crosses to bear in life and I’ve learned to bear my struggles with joy in my heart instead of wallowing in self-pity and despair.

For those of you who truly know me, I love to work and I don’t really care what it is as long as it's a fair wage. I hate working for free, which is what I did a lot through multiple internships. I enjoy working and being able to take care of myself. I developed a strong work ethic thanks to my parents and my upbringing. I strive to put my best foot forward in everything that I do. I strive to help others as much as I can and put their needs above my own. When I get knocked down, I get right back up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward.

I strive to be likable, but I don’t seek validation or be someone that I’m not just to fit in with a group. I’ve learned to become very comfortable in my skin and embrace who I am, flaws and all. I know that I am not perfect, but I am learning to enjoy the journey we call life and face challenges head-on instead of cowering or running away from them. And because of this, I am the happiest I’ve ever been, which is the main reason for this post. 

I apologize for the buildup, but I feel compelled to give people context as to why I feel a certain way. When I say I am the happiest I’ve ever been, I genuinely mean it. I have had countless amazing experiences throughout my life and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. The reasoning as to why I am so happy is multi-faceted. I finally found a career path in healthcare that I am competent in, I am surrounded by an amazing family who always hype me up, and I am able to take care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.

On one of my weekends, I was listening to a YouTube channel by a guy named Chad Lisonbee. He is a dude in his mid-forties who focuses on personal growth on his channel. A lot of his thoughts and perspectives are aligned with mine. And some not so much but I’m ok with that because he does bring a lot of value into his content. And I love listening to his videos. He focuses on helping people to truly be happy, finding joy in the journey we call life, making attainable goals, and getting off your ass and creating your own legacy instead of living in mediocrity or by societal norms. Be responsible, be accountable, and focus your time on activities that will help you grow instead of wasting it on unproductive things. I love what this guy is doing on his channel and it helps me to look inward and to do some soul-searching on how I am doing right now. 

We live in a society led by consumerism. Everything you see is someone trying to get you to spend money you don’t have to have the latest and greatest new thing. We live in a world of people who bend over backward to be accepted whether it be through status, finances, or power. We are told to buy now and pay later instead of learning how to delay gratification until we have the means to afford it. We are constantly being told to blame others or outside forces for our misfortunes instead of taking some responsibility for our actions and developing self-awareness. Now, people are swimming in credit card debt, enslaved to debilitating car payments on top of their rent/mortgage and they focus on things that are beyond their control. We willingly give away our power to others in the hopes that we will get something in return, but that will never be the case. We need to train ourselves that we are capable of accomplishing great things or paving the road to our success, no matter what obstacles or challenges are thrown our way.

I know for most people it sounds boring to focus on yourself and things in your control instead of blaming outside forces as to why you are unsuccessful in life. The beautiful thing is that you can start right now by taking baby steps and investing in yourself and your future. I think this is the biggest reason why I beaming with happiness right now is because I chose to make a conscious decision to focus on things I can control instead of things beyond it. I am focusing on the here and now instead of having my head up in the clouds for too long. I am exercising 2-3 times a week at the gym, eating nutrient-dense foods that are minimally processed, and striving to stay active throughout the day instead of being sedentary. I live a frugal lifestyle and am saving my money for a rainy day or when shit hits the fan. My lifestyle is simple, and I love being a simple human being. I don’t need the latest and greatest thing unless it's larping gear haha. And because I live frugally, I was able to buy my first car in cash and it has been a huge blessing in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I do want nice things in life later down the road when I have more money, and I am not against those of you who have fancy cars, houses, etc. I feel that if you work hard you deserve it all, I am just against unhealthy financial decisions that a lot of people make. There are way too many people who live paycheck-to-paycheck and wonder why they can’t get ahead. And I don’t envy those people. I am just making a generalized observation. I am happy that I don’t need to own a whole lot just to be happy.

I want to thank you guys for reading these blog posts. It means so much to me that you guys find value in what I say and through my personal experiences. It reinforces to me that I am valued and needed, and for someone who has struggled with chronic depression in the past, this means the absolute world to me. To know that I am not alone in the struggle and to know that I have a solid support system. I love you all so much and I appreciate the positive feedback I receive from you every time I publish a post on here. I love you all and I will catch you all on the next post. Later!